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{Question from a Woman}

Hi, Jeremy=]

So, I just wanted to comment on what you had said about women that want their men to step up.

I’ve been trying to explain to my boyfriend how that’s what I am wanting right now.

But I feel like his ego is blocking our communication.

He hears me say this and he gets heated because he’s taking it as I am calling him a bitch and putting him down as a man.

– Thus not receiving the message I was sending to him.

Another thing I have brought up is how I am really wanting to focus on keeping a clean space:

Meditating every morning, running energy, giving healings and all that good stuff =]

I brought up how when we make love, we share each other’s space.

(That’s a no brainer)

When we make love, he is releasing energy into my space when he should be clearing it.

….. You get what I’m saying?

It’s frustrating because I love him very much and I would love to be his partner forever.

I’m just not sure if we are meant to take this journey together.

I want to be true to myself and to him.

If you could do a reading on our relationship it would be much appreciated.

Thanks….. Jennifer

{My Answer}

~For Enlightenment Purposes Only~

Blessings Jennifer, I hope this helps.

First I just want to say that it is not an easy path either way so learn to love the path that you’re on as a women awakening your empowerment of divine femininity from within.

Remember your partner is your biggest self reflection most of the time. One of the biggest tools to grow with, so what do you have to learn?

I would not want to tell you who to be with and who not to be with or what your relationships should look like, but instead I want to just share with you my experience and awareness of these things and what I witness.

For instance, at the Kundalini Dance Awakening Retreat I went to, one of the things I got to witness in the women that where going through this issues was a heart longing of desiring the man or men in their lives to step it up and handle their shit and hold their space with compassion and integrity.

It seemed that the key thing to learn for these women is to work on PATIENCE with their man!

Working on compassion helps with your level of patience by the way.

A possible karmic lesson you are learning from being with this person is to work on patience. You can, if you chose to, become a master of patience with opportunities such as these. It’s all in our perceptions right? ☺

I want everyone to know that it always comes down to self love, for everyone, always.

One could always be working on their personal relationship with self-love not waiting for anyone, and that serves everyone.

Some relationships are meant to be and some are not. All relationships we can learn from.

If you truly love him and are committed to growing with him in life, then continue to work on yourself and do what you need to do in life to be happy.

Take your steps, clear your space, do your meditation practice, run your energy and give healings, and dance and play, laugh, have fun, sleep in, sing, and make love. Fill your spirit and soul with love.

I seem to be a rare commodity being a man in a relationship passionate about relationships as a tool for growth. I am always ready to work on and grow my relationships sometimes even more so then my partners.

So I may not be able to speak from his point of view so much, but I do know yours more so. I will say that this is the best time to work on compassion and PATIENCE with love. To notice your own matching pictures and or polarized opposite matching pictures. All partners have this.

I am learning about my masculinity as a man and there is a lot of talk about how the masculine needs to take the lead and the feminine follows. I feel very fortunate that I know enough of my own self that I am able to guide my partner through emotional issues or at least support her and hold space for her to grow.

This means I keep my personal space clean, I hold my space with integrity and unconditional love for all things. This made it easier to take the lead in that area
of our life. I have a passion for self growth through relationships. It’s a perfect play ground to explore and grow.

But it would trouble me when I would get these calls mostly from women wanting to work on their relationships with their man but it was almost never that the man would call me up. So it seems most men are having a harder time with letting go of the identifications of the ego then women are and working on their selves and taking their own steps.

Perhaps this is because so many men have a lot of deep intense shame and guilt around their past and present relationships with women karmically and they are not ready to look at it.

Women may have the same or different intense shame and guilt but these are emotional based and feminine women seem to be made up of emotions so it is maybe more familiar territory to face your self in as the feminine.

Personally, when a woman is coming to me (a man) for relationship advice about her man, most of the time he is not able to lead her where she wants to go in life and in the relationship, at the moment. Or it is because he has not built up and gained her trust yet to do so, which is not an easy thing these days for a man to do on a lot of levels for a lot of different reasons.

So at the Kundalini Dance Awakening Retreat with 17 women and me being the only man I really had to drop in and surrender to the feminine and be present to divine feminine wisdom, and hold space as the divine masculine.

As men we all love to be seduced by the divine beauty of the feminine, most women do as well too. As divine masculine is madly in love with divine feminine both as her light Shakti form and the dark Kali side, and he has to first be present for his own self to even witness and hold space for her divine radiant beauty in all forms.

Photo of Shakti

Video about Kali

UNDERSTANDING KALI MAA: WHO IS KALI? WHAT DOES SHE STAND FOR?…

The other day I dropped in to be present for  with Mellissa Seamen down in San Rafael, Ca. channeling “The Voice of Deep Feminine Wisdom”. In her channeling she said something about how the feminine is really the one that leads and the masculine follows, she is the gravitational pull, the attraction magnet of all divine manifestations.

So I have been looking at that and playing with that frame and I like it.

Regardless it is going to be hard for any women awakening in her divine femininity trailblazing this vibration into society and her relationships.

I think my point is to not wait for him to take your personal growth steps, if he is not ready and you are.

One of two thing will happen, either your vibration will raise to a state that he does not want to be around because he will see all his own self reflections that he is not ready to work on and he will leave, or your high vibration of love and light will attract him to raise his own vibration, you will inspire him to become passionate about life and himself.

It might not happen right away, it might take a long time, and I would imagine that the faster you grow the faster something will happen.

And don’t forget that if your unhappy then you better believe your man is unhappy (so to show him how unhappy you are about who he is does not help in any way) and there is nothing that makes your man more happy then you being blissed out. The more you follow your bliss in life the more he follows your beauty around like a little puppy dog.

At this point you would be able to lead him anywhere you wanted to. Most women are control freaks and men know it. Because most women try to control what their man does and does not do, who he is or is not, who he should or should not be, and if you are present you will notice most women try to control men in everything they do.

But they do it out of fear of him not being a man yet. In most cases she’s right, but all he is hearing is you think he is a little bitch and he is not a man. So why would he want to listen to what you have to say, as far as he is concerned you are not coming from the right place and he cuts off the communication, thus no understanding of each other’s reality and the love and affinity for each other drops.

So really yes it may be his ego you’re looking at but I would go as far to say that it is your ego that is blocking the communication.

I know you want the best for him and I would suggest that letting go of the control, and doing two things would make a world of difference for you. One is being present to personal growth in the moment. The second is to come from a new paradigm shift of love, free to love yourself and him in the moment, you’re not acting, you are being authentic and full of love.

Love him for what he is in the moment and have compassion for his path in life. This will keep the level of affinity up and the doors of communication will stay open and then you can talk about your reality to one another. It just seems that the divine feminine beauty leads the divine masculine up into a world of compassion, dose it not?

What else would the masculine live for if not his beloved? When she radiates in her core of love and bliss, there is nothing he won’t do for her, he will slay dragons for her, go to the moon and back. So remember when you’re in your bliss, that’s when you tell him what you want from him, then he will listen because he will be madly in love with your beauty and joy that shines from within.

Here is a secret; all women have to do on this planet to lead men where they want is through loving themselves.  Just do what you need to do to be happy, and men will follow. Trust me.

You said; “I brought up how when we make love, we share each other’s space. (That’s a no brainer) When we make love, he is releasing energy into my space when he should be clearing it.”

First off I just want to say you are right, he should not be releasing into your space he should be clearing it. So with that said…

I would never say to use sex in any way to control him, nor do I think you would intentionally, but I would say by giving up your space and personal power to standards that don’t meet yours, this is a form of control in and of itself.

I know it sounds twisted but think about it like this, what are you afraid of happening if you just didn’t let him release whatever shit he is not facing in you? Things like fear of not being loved, fear of fighting, fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of separation, and fear of being alone.

All these types of fears will control you and let someone dump their energetic shit onto you. So you might want to look and see if any of those ring true for you, or others alike, and then trust in the releasing and letting go, setting free and embodying love.

Love will hold a space of integrity.
Love will hold a space of purity.
Love will hold a space of sacred union.

If you are conscious that he is releasing and not clearing that is the first step, next is to do something about it.

Sex can be tricky sometimes so remember to communicate with him from a place of love and don’t make it about him; if he loves you and I am sure he does, he will understand or at least want to understand.

Communication is the key. Work on speaking your truth with integrity; women tend to expect men to know what they are thinking and want them to read their minds, and to know what they want and when they want it.

Most men don’t have a clue; they have no idea how women work or why they do the way they do. They don’t know when you want sex and when you don’t. They don’t understand all your emotions and they definitely have a hard time knowing which one of them you are experiencing in the moment out of all the endless possibilities.

So remember to give men a break, they are way behind the times with that one. Talk to them more, they want to hear “Kali”. She will eventually teach them to read minds one day. Again PATIENCE…

Also sex should be sacred, you could even make it into a ritual in the sense that you ground and protect yourself each other and your space before and after every act of making love, you light candles, and you set intentions together, burn sage, you eye gaze left eye to left eye and breathe together, look at playing with sex magick and or getting into Tantra.

You might want to look into sexual healing to do on/with/for him. Or find a tantric sexual healer to take him to or you both to. Find a way to channel the energy. Lead his breath, cycle your energyies using intentions with love when you’re having sex. It’s all just a process and our karmic journeys.

Enjoy…

Thanks for reading

Blessings

http://TheCompassionateSoul.com/OneOnOne-Coaching/

PS. To find out if you are meant to take this journey together

Here is a video of my beautiful wife Leah about a year or two ago before we got married. About 2 years into our relationship.

Pay attention to the part where we talk about writing down our Ideal Relationships, that tool will help identify where the relationship is and where it is going on both sides of the partnership.

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